


Like so many times before

by ilibri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, GN!READER, Gen, M/M, Rebirth AU, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 12:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilibri/pseuds/ilibri
Summary: You chase him, through lifetimes and lives never fully lived, you chase after him but he always remains out of reach.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Reader
Kudos: 5





	Like so many times before

You run the fastest your legs can carry you but like so many times before, it isn't enough. 

Crowded streets block your path, you try pushing through but closer to the harbour you get the more people appear. It's almost as if the entire country has gathered to wave the ship goodbye. 

Pushing forward exhausts your every sense, you can't see through the crowd, smell of sweat and dust fills your nose, you drown in the cheering, shouting crowd. You're all but ready to give up. 

Like so many times before you wonder what even is the point. 

It matters, he matters, you remind yourself, always forward. Always forward. 

Crowd hides you from his eyes, no matter how loud you shout and wave, what are you but a drop in the ocean stealing him away?

Like so many times before you don't get to say goodbye. 

*

In your next life you grow up with stories of kitsune hiding in the shadows. Never walk alone after dark your father orders you. Never leave the shrine without an offering your grandmother teaches you.

Sometimes you think you catch glimpses of glowing eyes in the dead of night, sometimes you think you hear someone calling out your name. Something dances at the edge of your mind, someone you can't quite remember... Sometimes you wonder why the path always brings you to the shrine up the hill. Sometimes you wonder why nothing seems to fill the empty void where your heart is supposed to be. 

The day you find him by the shrine basking in the sun is the day you remember. He doesn't bother to hid his ears or tail from you. Perhaps he knows. 

After night falls he holds you close. His arms are your refuge and his lips are summer breeze caressing your skin. Like so many times before you dare dream this time, this time you'll manage to hold on. 

Then the hunters come.

You run the fastest your legs can carry you but like so many times before, it isn't enough.

There's blood. Seeping through his clothes. Painting your trembling hands. Clinging to tips of his hair. Tears wash it from his face as he breathes his last. 

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,“ you keep repeating as you weep, “It's all my fault, all of it is my fault...“

He can't speak but this eyes tell you, you'll find me again, we'll be together, it's not your fault. How could it be?

Sobbing and screaming they drag you away from his lifeless body. 

But it is your fault. You're the one who asked for eternity.

*

You have learned not to hope and you have learned not to trust.

He sleeps beside you, he's real and he's warm and he makes you wonder if it's all just a cruel trick fate is playing on you. After all it is all to good to be true. 

Hand in hand you walk through fields, like you have done so many summers before, when your hands where still young and skin silk. You cling to his touch, eyes always glancing over your shoulder. 

Like so many times before you wonder where fate will strike from next.

It's time that takes him. Old age catching up while you're searching for those hiding in the shadows, stealing him away while you aren't paying attention. 

*

The solace and silence of a forests are all the company you can bear. Your heart lies shattered in pieces and you're too tired to even try putting it back together. What's memory, what is now and what was, all crashes down on you. What was yesterday is the same as what is today. What difference does it all make anyway?

He wanders into the forest the day dark clouds gather. He's a child still, stars are in his eyes and his face glows in carefree glee. 

“I know ya,“ he says. 

It is always children who remember. 

His fingers wrap around your hand. Small. Warm. Waiting for the world to break them. He jumps to catch the snowflakes falling from the clouds above and when his voice echoes between sleeping trees you wonder if this is the one time you heal.

As first spring flowers shyly start to open towards the sun you walk through the forest, alone. They bloom, they grow and they bloom, and they crown a small grave. 

As if they knew they were your favourite. Did he tell them? 

After all, soul he carried used to be yours. 

*

He stands in the fields of swaying golden rice. He looks content, you think, he looks happy. 

Your heart clenches and tears gather in your eyes. Every part of your soul aches for him but you know it will only hurt more if you reach out. It always does. 

He looks into your direction and you wonder if he remembers you. If he knows your paths have crossed in every lifetime. 

This time you let him go. You know you have to. 

He calls out for you. He calls your name. He runs after you, he runs the fastest his legs can carry him and doesn't stop till he catches up. 

Small, your voice is so small, threatening to break under the weight of the words. “You remember my name.“ 

You chase him, through lifetimes and lives never fully lived, you chase after him but he always remains out of reach.

But maybe... Maybe this time you'll manage to hold on. 


End file.
